For your enjoyment, I've posted (with permission) the very clever response submitted by the ever clever Mr. James Brink.
A. Acceptance of Offer - General
1. As per the terms of the offer, postmarked July 5, 2006, of Jennifer Nicole Van Breda and Brian Richard vanOosten ("the Couple") to attend their wedding and reception ("the Event") on September 30, 2006, James Brink ("the Attendee") sends his acceptance subject to the following conditions.
B. Conditions of Acceptance
1. That the Attendee be granted access to all portions of the Event granted to invited and guest attendees generally, except insofar as there may be sub-events that are inclusive of one gender only, in which case the Attendee acknowledges that his right to participate in said sub-events extends only to sub-events specifically directed at the male gender.
2. That the Attendee be permitted to bring one (1) guest ("the Guest"). The Guest shall be granted access to all portions of the Event granted to invited and guest attendees generally, except insofar as there may be sub-events that are inclusive of one gender only, in which case the Guest acknowledges that her right to participate in said sub-events extends only to sub-events specifically directed at the female gender.
3. That both the Attendee and the Guest be allowed to partake in the refreshments, victuals, and beverages whether alcoholic or not, that are provided generally for the benefit of all attendees and guests.
C. Waiver of Rights
1. The Attendee acknowledges that the Couple's terms of offer included:
a. Accommodation for any dietary restrictions that either the Attendee or his guest might be subject to.
b. Babysitting for any number of children, for the purpose of allowing the Attendee and his guest to attend the Event unencumbered.
2. The Attendee and the Guest hereby waive their right to take advantage of the terms of offer listed in Sections C.1.a. and C.1.b. The Attendee and the Guest also declare that they have done so with full knowledge of the rights the terms of Sections C.1.a and C.1.b. entitle them to, having obtained independent legal advice.
D. Contract and Breach
1. By accepting the offer by the Couple to attend the Event on September 30, 2006, the Attendee and Guest hereby acknowledge that a binding contract has been created.
2. If the Attendee and Guest fail to appear at the Event on the aforementioned date, the contract will be considered to have been breached by the Attendee, and the Couple will be entitled to claim the remedy specified in Section E.1. However, if the Guest only fails to appear at the Event on the aforementioned date, the contract will be considered to be only technically breached, and fulfilled in its essence, and no liability can lie against the Attendee.
3. If the Couple fail to fulfil the conditions of acceptance laid on them by the Attendee, the contract will be considered to have been breach by the Couple, and both the Attendee and his guest will be entitled to the remedy specified in Section E.2.
1. If the Attendee breaches the contract herein described, the Couple will be entitled to partake in a dinner of not less than three (3) courses, accompanied by full table setting and appropriate ambient music at his Toronto abode. The Attendee agrees to make best efforts to obtain the attendance of the Guest at said dinner, though the remedy herein described entails no obligation on her part to attend the remedial dinner.
2. If the Couple breaches the contract herein described, the Attendee and, at her option, the Guest, will be entitled to partake in a dinner of not less than three (3) courses, accompanied by full table setting and appropriate ambient music at the Couple's Hamilton abode.
1. Notwithstanding the terms of this Agreement, the Attendee agrees to indemnify the Guest for, over and against all claims, expenses or losses that arise either through the fulfilment or through the breach of this contract.
1. Time shall be of the essence in this Agreement.
1. The Agreement herein described shall last not longer than 1:00AM, the day following the Event. However, liability for breach of this Agreement shall survive the expiry of the term of the Agreement, subject only to a one-year limitation period, after which the parties to this agreement renounce all claim against breach of the Agreement herein described and agree to proceed on a good cheer basis of friendly hospitality.
This Agreement signed, sealed and delivered on July 17, 2006 by
This post bubbled to the surface on Wednesday, July 26, 2006
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